You Don't Know Me

Originally written March 2, 2017

A picture is worth 1,000 words? A picture creates 1,000 words, mostly in the form of gossip.

You can't tell who I am as a person from scanning my Instagram. Many people like to pretend that they can. And that's fine. I get it. Everyone judges others online - even I'm guilty.

But you need to know this - You get to see what I want you to see. You get to hear what I want you to hear. I don't post all of my thoughts on this blog or on Facebook You can get a strong idea, but it's not everything.

It's 100% crafted and controlled by me. I'm never trying to trick you - and I'm honest with you here on my blog, but it's still only pieces. I never give you everything, because some things are too personal or too sad or too confusing. 

A happy picture doesn't mean I'm happy all of the time. 

We don't just put filters on our Instagram pictures. Our Instagram pictures put filters on our lives.

I don't post pictures of me crying because I'm feeling self conscious or stressed or anxious. I don't post pictures of me being a total bitch to a friend or co-worker when I'm in a grumpy mood. I don't post pictures of the 4 hour flight delay when my stomach is upset and my feet are swollen. I don't post pictures of the dirty dishes I've let pile in my sink. I'm not always funny or sassy or confident.

Don't believe me? Here are a few examples, pulled straight from my Instagram.

I was in the WORST mood for this picture. And I was being a total bitch because I thought that I wasn't going to be able to go cage diving with the great whites because of bad weather. My sister forced me to take this.

I was feeling SO. SO. self conscious in this outfit, which only made me anxious and moody. I felt ugly and out of place. I wanted to cry and was shutting off from everyone. Ultimately, I literally had to change my dress in order to change my mood that night.

This picture was taken on one of the scariest, most emotional days of my life.

It took me about 30 tries to get this shot "right." You can see the raindrops if you look closely - but it was storming when we went to see the sharks. I was the only one who got in to snorkel, and it was freezing cold with no visibility! Although I'll admit, still a good day.
See? It's not all what you think. Sometimes it's what I want you to think.

Are most of my Instagram and Facebook shots genuine? Yes. The emotion is usually straight forward. I live an incredibly blessed life and have thousands of reasons to smile. I travel to amazing places and have lots of fun doing so and I like to share those things.

However, I think it's important to remind everyone - even myself - that I'm still human. A snapshot is just that - a tiny a piece of a great life - full of happiness, sadness, laughter, tears, anger, pain, hope, fears, and love.

I think it's so important in today's online world that we remember not to fill in the blanks of other people's lives based on the tiny pieces they choose to give us.

How YOU feel about what I post is up to YOU. I'm not going to apologize for that, just like I wouldn't expect someone to apologize for something they've posted from their own lives on their own accounts (if I don't like it, I don't have to look at it).

There's always more to someone's story than a collection of filtered photos and strings of Facebook statuses. And if you really want to know more about something I've shared? Hey - maybe you could just ask me? I might just tell you.