Firefly

I’m about to admit to something that’s probably going to seem ridiculous to a lot of you. However, since I’m up writing this at 6 AM and haven’t had all my coffee yet, my pride is allowing it.

Whenever I’m really anxious or whenever I’m having trouble finding focus, I have something secret (aside from wine - no secret there) that I turn to: tarot cards. I know, I know. Silly. I hear you. Stay with me for a minute, though. I have a deck of Wild Unknown Animal Spirit tarot cards that I pull out in times of stress of uncertainty. There’s many different ways to use them, and I won’t bore you with all the details. Jumping to the point - I opened them up last night. Because what’s more uncertain than being in the middle of a global pandemic, am I right? I don’t know about you, but for me, it’s all a bit surreal.

Any way, I pulled them out and asked the cards for something to focus on during this time of grey - a mission or mentality that I can continuously return to, even as everything shifts around me.

The card I pulled was the firefly.

The firefly in tarot represents inspiration, a positive spirit, and creativity. When in balance, it brings art, writing, and big ideas. When out of balance, it brings feelings of burn-out, confusion, and disconnection.

Can you remember the first time you ever saw a firefly? I hadn’t thought about it in a long time until last night, but, damn, wasn’t it truly magical? There’s something incredible about seeing a creature create it’s own light. For something so tiny, it seems so powerful. You would probably never notice them otherwise, or, you may even be grossed out or scared of those little bugs. They are, in fact, beetles. Not typically a fan. But since they light up, they are beautiful. It’s interesting, isn’t it, when you think of it that way? They become so magical because they share their light.

Something else about fireflies - they can’t shine all the time. It’s too exhausting, and they’ll burn out.

I’ll admit over the past couple of weeks, I have had brief but deep periods of mental exhaustion. Every one has an opinion and every one feels like they have to voice it - usually through social media and rarely with kindness. There are so many what-ifs, should’ve, could've, would'ves. So much name-calling. So much “well what’s being done for me?" Everyone has opinions, no one has all the answers. There’s a difference between staying informed & wanting to help share best practices vs. acting holier-than-though. Decisions that are being made by the government, by your neighbor, by your best-friend, by businesses, possibly look very different from the inside than they do on the outside. Criticism, finger-pointing, and toxic messaging doesn’t cure anything - it just adds to the panic and that tightness we’re all feeling around our spirits. When I want SCREAM, I have to remember that everyone around me is trying to navigate this, but our circumstances and priorities may not be the same. Knowing that doesn’t make it less frustrating to see others acting in ways you wouldn’t - I GET IT. But, back to focusing the firefly. What can I control? How can illuminate positivity and inspiration, without getting burnt out or jaded?

I can’t fix this pandemic. I can’t even make a dent. However, there are things I can do during this time of uncertainty:

  • Spark and share my creativity. We all have talents and passions. I’d like to think mine is writing. I can send texts, write letters, work on my fiction, and You can do this through sharing playlists if your love music, workouts if you want to help others stay physical, share favorite food and cocktail recipes if you’re a master in the kitchen, create paintings if you’re into art, share memes if you’re the funniest in your group, etc. I can also work really hard to support others creativity and local businesses, through whatever means and channels available.

  • Continue to acknowledge challenges, but remind myself and those around me of the bigger picture. There are many, many people who are struggling and will continue to struggle. I have a job. I have a paycheck. I work at a company that is doing everything in its power, while continuously shifting and making new decisions based on the most current information, to keep us safe. We have thousands of employees and customers that depend on us. Like I said earlier, it’s hard to understand what the right decisions are, but I can focus on that.

  • Lead by example, not by a know-it-all mentality. Recognize that I don’t fully know what’s going on behind the decisions and actions of the companies, government, and people around me. I can only do what I think is best, and hope that others see, understand, and follow.

  • In a world with so many choices and in a time where feelings and anxieties spill out on social media without filter, I can be kind. I can be patient. As good ol’ Matthew McConaughey said, I can “show fairness, kindness, accountability, resilience, respect, and courage.”

  • Take breaks: from social media, from the news, from conversations revolving around stressful topics, from negative vibes, and even from being positive. I’m allowed to shut it all off, retreat and recharge - physically and mentally. So are you.

One more thing about fireflies. “In only two places in the entire world, there’s a phenomenon known as simultaneous bio luminescence. That means that all the fireflies in the area sync up their flashes, so all they light up at exactly the same time, repeatedly, all night long.”

There’s a lot of darkness out there, unfortunately. It’s a part of life, but in times like this, it can really feel like it’s actually drowning you.

I’m sorry and, at time, frustrated, to say that I can’t remove the darkness … but, I can shine a little light. More importantly, so can you. And if we can do it at the same time? Well, that would be magical.

Alex

*PS - If you would like me to pull a card of intention for you, please let me know and I’d be happy to.